I’m feeling a little concerned about my daughter’s social interactions at school. We live in the mountains and so all the communities around us are small. So small that the school she attends is in another town instead of the one where we live. One of the reasons I left my job in India and returned to the U.S. was so that my daughter would have better opportunities to interact with her peers. We both thought it would be easier for her in our home country, where culture and language wouldn’t be a barrier. She is now in her second school year here and though I was encouraged by the fact that she made some good friends last  year, two weeks into the current year has me concerned again. Her previous school friends seem to have moved on to new friends, leaving my daughter feeling lonely and a little lost again.

It’s not unusual for friendships to come and go throughout a person’s life, but one usually manages to connect to at least one person to whom they can call a best friend; one who no matter what, you can count on as a companion, at least most of the time. I thought she had met such a friend last year. Now I understand that my daughter doesn’t necessarily fit into the mold here. For example, she’s lived outside the U.S., which isn’t something rural people experience, she’s not good at sport type activities and she’s not interested in being in a social click at school even if they were interested in recruiting her. I can appreciate her not wanting to be part of the social click. A majority of the popular clicks at schools exhibit bullying and harassment type behaviors to those outside of the click members. And she has been the brunt of their cruel jokes at least once. It makes me proud that my daughter isn’t interested in behaving that way in order to have friends or to be considered part of the popular crowd.

She’s unique and special and for the most part gets praised by her teachers. But people in general, whether they’re a child or an adult, have a tendency to be blind to what is unique in each other, especially if it’s different from their own. She’s intelligent for her age, she’s been reading literally everything since kindergarten, (she could read on her own by age 4), she’s curious, artistically creative, imaginative, sensitive, easy going, sociable and friendly to everyone. Apparently these qualities aren’t socially beneficial and though we have discussed why people sometimes behave poorly towards others, I’m at a loss as to how I can give her guidance for making friends with peers who has different interests than she has while still being true to who she is. If any one reading this has some suggestions, I’m interested in hearing them.