Jerry was never the smartest crayon in the box, if you know what I mean. I never quite understood why the girls loved him so much. Yeah, he had that manly feel about him, the masculine voice, the chiseled features. But come on, how can any woman be interested in a man who can’t tell a face wash from anal lube? “I mean, I don’t think you’re hearing me correctly, honey.” I tapped my temple with one manicured nail. 

 The girl at the door blinked up at me, a smile plastered to that rosy round face. “Oh to Hell with it, just come on through.” I stepped aside and shook my head as the girl bounced over the threshold with delight. She carried a box of chocolates in her slender little hands – expensive, too. I swear these girls keep getting younger and younger and richer and richer. “Is he upstairs?” her blue eyes swam with anticipation as she stared up the stairs. I knew at this point she was about to drop to her knees and start praying to our Holy Carpet.“Jerry, come down here!” I hollered from the hall. I inspected myself in the mirror, flattening my straight brown hair with both palms. My gold bracelets jingled and sparkled in the dim light of the corridor. I wished Jerry would hurry up; my ‘flock’ would be arriving soon and I had no intention of allowing my big brother to woo them into a group orgy.

And then he appeared. The Great One made his presence known. I could hear the steps creaking threateningly as he pounded down like a bull in heat. I stood in the doorway to the den, my head cocked to the side as I worked on inserting a golden hoop earring into my lobe. I rolled my eyes as Jerry catapulted into his preteen date and swooped her up into a bone-cracking bear hug. “Oh, Jerry,” giggled the blondie, “you’re so affectionate.”Jerry patted her head (Like a dog, I thought) and tossed his leather jacket across one shoulder. He gently nudged his date past me towards the door. I smirked at him as he wiggled his eyebrows at me, that boyish smile giving away his evil intentions.“Bye, Kimmy, don’t wait up.” He slammed the front door shut. “Bye, Kimmy, don’t wait up.” He slammed the front door shut.  Yes, my brother was definitely a ladies man. I kind of admired him, really. That is, until I went upstairs to find that he had mistaken the blow dryer for his penis pump yet again. The blonde public hairs stuck in the plastic cylinder betrayed him.