Marriage is a partnership, but that doesn’t mean you and your spouse will always agree on everything. It’s normal to disagree, but when the disagreement concerns a significant life event or something important to one of you, being married means working together to find common ground and a resolution.
Unfortunately, many couples fail to discuss the important things before tying the knot. Crucial subjects get swept under the rug, only to resurface later when an issue arises. The problem is that once couples are married, it’s much harder to dissolve the relationship should any of these factors cause an unmendable rift.
To ensure you don’t fall on the wrong side of the divorce statistics, here are several questions you should ask your partner before getting married.
- What Are Your Financial Goals?
Money has a way of destroying even the most solid of relationships, so you should discuss this part of your relationship as soon as marriage is on the table. When it’s time for the money talk, consider working with a registered tax agent to discuss how your financial situation will change once you walk down the aisle.
It can also be worth sitting down with a financial counselor to discuss your approaches to money management. Being financially compatible has little to do with how much either of you makes – it’s how you view money, pay bills, and plan for the future. A financial counselor can help you develop a shared approach that will work for both of you.
- Do You Want Children?
Most couples discuss children long before they get married. What many fail to discuss, however, is what happens if they struggle to have children. Are you open to adoption? What about in vitro fertilization (IVF)? Although your views might change as time passes, discussing these things now will help you should infertility be an issue.
- How Can I Help You When You’re Feeling Down?
Many people have trouble conveying their thoughts and feelings when stressed or feeling down. Asking your partner this question during happier times will give you insight into how to help them (or not help them) if they’re having a bad day. Some people just want a hug, while others might want to be left alone. Find out what you should do to avoid disagreements and hurt feelings.
- How Do You Communicate?
Everyone knows that communication is the key to a good relationship, but not everyone communicates the same way. This can cause an emotional upset when discussing important topics.
Some people communicate better in writing, some speak before they think and then regret what they say later, and some simply clam up. Regardless of your communication style, if you figure out each of your approaches, strengths, and weaknesses ahead of time, married life will be much easier.
- What Are Your Expectations Regarding Sex?
Just because you love each other doesn’t mean you’ll be compatible in the bedroom. Some people have a high sex drive, while others do not. Some people are into kinky sex, and some prefer good old-fashioned missionary sex. It’s essential to find a happy medium and realize that sex in marriage can be both hot and cold, and if it cools off a little, that doesn’t mean you’ve lost interest in each other.
Marriage is a give-and-take relationship that doesn’t thrive without work from both partners. While divorce is a part of marriage for some people, it doesn’t have to be a part of yours. You can prevent future turmoil and unnecessary disagreements by discussing the topics above before you stand at the altar.
